Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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