pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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