I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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