Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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