I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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