yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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