Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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