eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You can't just leave with hair like that
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
