I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
