Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize