You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
