Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
