Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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