apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
