You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
