Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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