it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
