He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize