We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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