just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
