A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
