she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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