could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
