Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
