it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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