Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize