So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
