you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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