My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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