He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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