You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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