YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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