OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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