he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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