At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
