I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize