He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
