Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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