Whod you bang
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
