5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
