whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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