East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
