I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize