Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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