I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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