Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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