i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
