i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize