I cockslap morals
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
