she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I want a musical about memes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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