I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
