Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
