Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
