Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
