you would pick up someone in the library
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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