I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
