How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize