if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
