Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
