Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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