You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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