Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
